How can I be happier if my life sucks? Part 1
BE THE CHANGE
The author of The Happiness Equation, Neil Pasricha, says that “it’s easier to act yourself into a new way of thinking than it is to think yourself into a new way of acting”. Why? Because the thinking mind wants to protect us from anything unfamiliar, even if that unfamiliar feeling is HAPPINESS. If you’ve been feeling, thinking and noticing how much your life sucks for the past few weeks, months, or even years, then guess what? It’s going to be challenging to find the GOOD in your current situation or any future situation regardless of how conditions improve for your favor.
I learned this lesson the hard way when I found that I was still full of fear, anxiety, anger, and disappointment even though I was living the life of my dreams at age 29. After being fired from my dream job, I learned that growing up in South Central LA trained me to live in survival mode. Try as I might, I couldn’t shake the automatic negative thoughts regardless of my higher education, six figure salary, designer clothes, beautiful car, and huge apartment. From my conscious and subconscious perspective, something was always wrong and nothing was ever good enough.
After I was fired I spent a lot of time reflecting on what went wrong and it was then that I realized that our emotions truly are a habit and old habits die hard. I learned that familiar feelings, places, and practices are interpreted as safe by our body, even if the emotional state isn’t favorable. More importantly, I learned that changing our way of being so we can be better HUMANS is NOT EASY but it IS POSSIBLE.
STARTING TO MAKE POSITIVE CHANGES REQUIRES THE FOLLOWING 3 THINGS:
The desire to change/improve our state
Sounds like: “I want to be in a good mood when I arrive to the office today, regardless of the traffic or other obstacles”
The belief that CHANGE is POSSIBLE for ourselves
Sounds like: “I can and will be in a good mood when I arrive at work today, regardless of obstacles that come up”
Noticing the + CHANGE when it happens, every time
Sounds like: “I am in a good mood right now and I am enjoying it very much” while actively noticing how negative people/situations affect our mood… when we are aware of the presence of negative energy it becomes easier to deflect it
Once you’ve got the first three requirements you can start being happier right away. How? By literally bringing a memory of when you were genuinely happy and sitting with that feeling for a few moments. Remember that you can bring this “happy place” to mind anytime. Observe yourself throughout the day as you try to maintain that state. Be relentless in your pursuit of happiness and see what happens. This practice of returning to happiness will benefit not only you but also those around you.
Repeat after me: I BELIEVE I CAN BE HAPPIER EVERY SINGLE DAY. I CAN TRAIN MY MIND, BODY AND EMOTIONS WITH A GENTLE PRACTICE. I AM WORTHY OF FEELING HAPPINESS.
