Cultivate a Resilient Mindset, Become Your Own Best Friend

September 9, 2020



Even though we may go through experiences in community, oftentimes we go through some of the most challenging times alone. If you've ever had a medical procedure done, you know you go under alone. Your loved ones may be nearby but the first words you hear are your own thoughts. Your own worries, concerns, fears, hopes and dreams. 


You must build a resilient mindset so that when you DO hear your thoughts, you LIKE what you hear. You hear a message of hope, love and strength to move past the discomfort because you know you have excellent coping abilities. 


We can be our own worst enemies if we don't control the thinking mind. It has the power to run away with us into imagined scenarios that lead to many horrible outcomes. 


The thinking mind can keep us from experiencing the beauty in our present moment because it takes us to the past when something caused us pain and suffering. 


I witnessed that yesterday with my parents. My dad lovingly said "that's why I love your mom, because she's stuck with me through thick and thin, good times and bad, poverty and wealth", to me and my mom while at the dinner table. He wasn’t done saying it when my mom shot him a look and he asked why she looked at him that way. Without hesitation she said, "because it's too bad I can't say the same about you." My dad's heart & head fell as she spoke those words. My heart broke for him... and for her. I gently reminded her that for the past 15 years he HAS been there for her through thick and thin, good times and bad and that she's robbing herself of that joy by holding on so fiercely to a past that happened 30 years ago. 


This is why I am passionate about the Life Coaching work I do with my clients. We actively work on undoing those types of negative habits and install better, happier and more loving ways of thinking and being. 


When you train your mind with me, you purposely work on becoming your OWN BEST FRIEND. When you've done the work of rewiring your mind's neuron paths and nervous system, your mind will actually empower you to face any challenge with courage and support you in making tough yet beneficial choices that honor your Highest Good.  


Now, let me leave you with some actionable ways to start training your mind so you can enjoy time alone and look forward to your self-care activities. 



The FIRST WORDS you say to yourself are absolutely critical to setting the tone for your day. Set your alarm name to “today is going to be a great day” or “I'll do something wonderful today” and say it OUT LOUD to YOURSELF UPON WAKING UP. 


Our mind is so powerful that when it hears that message it will subconsciously search for all the great parts of the day or search for all the wonderful things we’re doing throughout the day. It’s that simple. Even if you don’t feel like saying it, SAY IT! AND SMILE WHILE YOU’RE AT IT! When we hold a smile, even a fake or forced one, for two minutes our brain releases a happy chemical that actually boosts our mood. You have the power to work with your body-mind system to live a happier life by taking these tiny steps as soon as you wake up. 


The same goes for the LAST WORDS we say to ourselves at night before we fall asleep. I practice telling myself that I love myself and say all the things I wish I heard from a significant other before bed. In this way, I truly do give myself the love I seek. Sometimes it’s not easy to start with expressing the loving things. I distinctly remember nursing a very broken heart last November. I couldn’t bring myself to say “I love you” so I forced myself to just say “I am enough” over and over again as I cried myself to sleep. Without that mantra my mind wanted to run away with me and imagine all sorts of sad, pathetic and depressing things but I didn’t let it. I chose to say NICE things to MYSELF in my darkest hour instead of letting my thinking mind do whatever it wanted. 


You can do this too. I am here for you and would love to support you in this journey. 




Photo by Vivien Best, @VivienPhotos on Instagram 


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